After an hour of merely doing nothing, i’ve had had a realization and its a very painful one. First of all, we can’t, no matter how hard we try, how hard we cry, we can never go back to the way it was before. Second, no matter how hard it is to be happy for the person we loved that is already loving someone right now, we really don’t have any choice but to be really happy for them if we really do love them. Third, though it hurts as much as a heart break, sometimes the bridge of fate doesn’t really point out towards the one we really want. And sometimes it only passes by to the ones we’re wishing for. Fourth, you’ll only realize this when you’ve already lost someone special. It may be from a break-up, misunderstanding, a fight, an accident, or its just fate that separates us from them. Lastly, and maybe the hardest and painful of all is that we won’t be able to say those unspoken words to that someone..
I wish I’ve spent more time with her those lost summers many years ago. I wish I’ve recorded those talks, those laughs, those hums which i’d listen over and over again. I wish I’ve never been selfish and start treasuring all of my time with you. I wish I stopped the time before the last time we saw each other. The time we first kissed after spending the whole night talking with each other. And to be honest, i can’t forget that moment and everytime i’ll remember it, my heart skip a beat just like what it did while we kissed.
Though it’s forbidden, i don’t care. Still, if i say that, i’ll only be selfish. That’s why if I really love you, i’ll have to be happy no matter how hard it is for me, just for you. Right now, you have your special someone, i don’t have the right to intrude. But at the least, i hope you still remember me. And if it’s too much to ask, i just wish my name would still ring a bell in your thought whenever and wherever you’ll hear it and together with it the feelings i have shared with you.
Then and so forth, im still here, sitting by the break water, looking at the sea, watching the clouds drift, and humming your favorite tune while waiting for you years and years…ago. >,<